Tag Archives: high school

bachelor ben h: the episode with Ice Cube (?)

(I’m going to close my eyes and just go back to Straight Outta Compton and Boyz N the Hood.)

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This happened.

I see Ben H’s no kissing rule was just for Night 1.

Gratuitous shot of Ben at The Four Seasons pulling his pants on up and over his underwear bulge. This show is at least about equal opportunity exploitation. Also, why is he staying at The Four Seasons?

Let’s Learn How to Love group date with Jackie, LB, Lauren H, Becca, Amber, Mandy, JoJo, Jubilee, Jennifer, Lace

Lace is glad she gets to redeem herself because the drunken fool on display Night 1 is “not her.” Oh but it is! That was you drinking, amirite?

The ladies take the limo to “Bachelor High” and Ben H wants the date to be goofy and fun, so as to relieve any stress. “High school is where I have some of my fondest memories.” Shocking.

Chris Harrison’s nerdy school outfit is actually super dope. Jackie: “I was never Homecoming Queen in high school.” I feel like never is a weird word choice. How many opportunities do you get? One, right? So grammatically it should be “I was not Homecoming Queen…” Get it together!

The women actually get composition books and basically engage in a school-themed obstacle course replete with science experiments (volcanoes), lunch class (bobbing for apples), geography (find/don’t find Indiana on a map), gym (basketball free throw), and hurdle competition to become Homecoming Queen. Mandy wins and gets a tiara, letter jacket and a sash and then they take a victory lap in a convertible.

Incidentally, Ben says in reference to placing Indiana on a map: It’s not like I’m asking them to place Indonesia on a map. Except, hello, Indonesia would be hella easier! It’s surrounded by water and has one million teeny trailing off islands and is in South Asia. You have a 50-50 chance of guessing Indonesia right. Indiana is hard! It’s one of those states somewhere between the coasts with zero water features or a memorable shape. Continue reading

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