Hey y’all, I have a balls out week so I have merely but these bullets:
- I like the serious sit-down between Des and Chris Harrison in BIG WICKER CHAIRS.
- There’s a lot of loud, audible sniffles being picked up on the clip-on mic.
- Whoever did Chris Harrison’s make-up used too much green-tinted foundation.
- Did I get this conversation wrong?
Des: My heart is broken. I don’t want to go on. Chris is relaxed and Drew is sweet but Brooks was who I truly loved and he broke my heart.
Chris Harrison: So what I hear you saying is you want to continue on?
- Drew and Chris are good-looking. I mean I know that’s kind of a prerequisite of the show but, they’re good-looking. Oh and she gives them roses ALTHOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.
- There is a lady in the studio audience with a crazy red dress with like weird pieces hanging on each arm. And possibly wearing a wig.
- It’s kind of disingenuous to give each remaining guy five hours to see if they can escalate to Brooks-exciting-fall-in-love level. Ready, Set, DAZZLE ME.
- Des’s rhinestoned half tank is soooooooooooooooooo bad.
- Drew is so crazy hot. He even takes rejection in a hot way.
- Des looks weird in this bandeau bikini top and skirt and long torso.
- No one ever takes me on a catamaran.
- Ergo, I hate everyone.
- Des is clearly wayyyyyy more into Chris. Chris called their connection “awesome”, so that’s a bummer.
- Does Chris not know Zak already got Des a journal?
- So apparently it only takes five hours to do a switcheroo on true love. #istandcorrected
- What reality show did they pull Sean and Catherine out from?
- Des’s brother is lucky he got a free trip to Antigua. Also, why is he doing all the talking?
- Snoozefest 2013. Slow Talker Convention 2013.
- Oh Neil Lane, you comforting presence, you.
- I like the top of Des’s nude dress (one shoulder at least, the boob part is ill-fitting) but Chris’s good looks have kind of been a sleeper hit this season.
- Oh Des’s speech is actually giving me tingles. It’s like tearjerker rom com stuff. Chris is making me cry. CHRIS!
Brooks is pretty smoking in his super fitted tartan-esque suit and skinny tie. And no Drew is not rocking a waistcoat!! He doesn’t even seem gay today. Just hot. Chris and Juan Pablo WHO.
I was very skeptical, but as has happened in the past, seeing the couple’s real chemistry during ATFR helps. She does seem totally in love with him, and no one has ever doubted Chris’s intentions towards Des. So I guess we’ll see. (Not to mention I worry about an LA-obsessed girl in Seattle.)
There’s a lot of post-mortem around the internets but this is one from Jezebel is good I think: The Horror of Settling: The Bachelorette’s Emotional Pornography.
I am pretty damn excited for a Juan Pablo season. This franchise needed an electric shock. Also, his Bio makes me laugh:
Occupation: Former Pro Soccer Player
Hometown: Barquisimeto, Venezuela
Shoe Size: 11.5
Favorite Childhood Memory: Winning a youth soccer tournament
Hot-Spot Club or Low-Key Bar: Hot spot, because that’s where they play the danceable music.
Favorite Book: Don’t read
He doesn’t even bullshit. Doesn’t have to. Hopefully no poetry.
So want to hear what you all think! Is it January yet?