bachelorette des episode 11 finale part II + atfr: the old love switcheroo (happens every time!)

Hey y’all, I have a balls out week so I have merely but these bullets:

  • I like the serious sit-down between Des and Chris Harrison in BIG WICKER CHAIRS.
  • There’s a lot of loud, audible sniffles being picked up on the clip-on mic.
  • Whoever did Chris Harrison’s make-up used too much green-tinted foundation.
  • Did I get this conversation wrong?

Des: My heart is broken. I don’t want to go on. Chris is relaxed and Drew is sweet but Brooks was who I truly loved and he broke my heart.

Chris Harrison: So what I hear you saying is you want to continue on?

  • Drew and Chris are good-looking. I mean I know that’s kind of a prerequisite of the show but, they’re good-looking. Oh and she gives them roses ALTHOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.
  • There is a lady in the studio audience with a crazy red dress with like weird pieces hanging on each arm. And possibly wearing a wig.
  • It’s kind of disingenuous to give each remaining guy five hours to see if they can escalate to Brooks-exciting-fall-in-love level. Ready, Set, DAZZLE ME.
  • Des’s rhinestoned half tank is soooooooooooooooooo bad.
  • Drew is so crazy hot. He even takes rejection in a hot way.
  • Des looks weird in this bandeau bikini top and skirt and long torso.
  • No one ever takes me on a catamaran.
  • Ergo, I hate everyone.
  • Des is clearly wayyyyyy more into Chris. Chris called their connection “awesome”, so that’s a bummer.
  • Does Chris not know Zak already got Des a journal?
  • So apparently it only takes five hours to do a switcheroo on true love. #istandcorrected
  • What reality show did they pull Sean and Catherine out from?
  • Des’s brother is lucky he got a free trip to Antigua. Also, why is he doing all the talking?
  • Snoozefest 2013. Slow Talker Convention 2013.
  • Oh Neil Lane, you comforting presence, you.
  • I like the top of Des’s nude dress (one shoulder at least, the boob part is ill-fitting) but Chris’s good looks have kind of been a sleeper hit this season.
  • Oh Des’s speech is actually giving me tingles. It’s like tearjerker rom com stuff. Chris is making me cry. CHRIS!

ATFR

Brooks is pretty smoking in his super fitted tartan-esque suit and skinny tie. And no Drew is not rocking a waistcoat!! He doesn’t even seem gay today. Just hot. Chris and Juan Pablo WHO.

I was very skeptical, but as has happened in the past, seeing the couple’s real chemistry during ATFR helps. She does seem totally in love with him, and no one has ever doubted Chris’s intentions towards Des. So I guess we’ll see. (Not to mention I worry about an LA-obsessed girl in Seattle.)

There’s a lot of post-mortem around the internets but this is one from Jezebel is good I think: The Horror of Settling: The Bachelorette’s Emotional Pornography.

I am pretty damn excited for a Juan Pablo season. This franchise needed an electric shock. Also, his Bio makes me laugh:

Juan Pablo

Juan Pablo

Age: 31
Occupation:
 Former Pro Soccer Player
Hometown:
 Barquisimeto, Venezuela
Height: 
5’11”
Shoe Size:
 11.5
Tattoos: 
1
Favorite Childhood Memory:
 Winning a youth soccer tournament
Hot-Spot Club or Low-Key Bar: 
Hot spot, because that’s where they play the danceable music.
Favorite Book: Don’t read

He doesn’t even bullshit. Doesn’t have to. Hopefully no poetry.

So want to hear what you all think! Is it January yet?

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3 Comments

Filed under bachelorette episode recap

3 responses to “bachelorette des episode 11 finale part II + atfr: the old love switcheroo (happens every time!)

  1. Bach Fan

    Juan Pablo: YES. He is so good looking and sexy so it will be fun to watch. The girls are sure to be crazy! I liked Chris for Des all along, but it had to be a little hard for him to watch last week. I’m glad Brooks didn’t come back. I got all tingly during the proposal, I couldn’t believe it. The Bachelor franchise got us again!!!

  2. Elizabeth

    I’m of two minds with Des and Chris. On the one hand, I think he’s a great match for her and there is a lot to be said for settling for the nice guy. On the other hand, he’ll always know that she rebounded and settled with him, and that is bound to cause tension down the road. But the proposal was honest and romantic and they genuinely look happy.

    Juan Pablo. This should be interesting. You can already see the fandom going to his head. I think we are going to be in for a wild season.

  3. yael

    I agree JP will be awesome. But… a few problems. One is that his Twitter handle is trademarked, two that he randomly capitalizes on Twitter, and three that when he was being interviewed by Chris Harrison, I swear he said something along the lines of looking for a girl to be with for a “long while”. Ummm… There’s no way someone like Juan Pablo with his newfound flame wants to get married. But I think he will be like an upbeat version of Brad, so that’s cool with me. See you all then!

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