bachelorette des episode 8: where des meets four families, all more awesome than her own

BacheloretteDesList_zps58df54cf

(Only pic I could find online at this hour. Preach it, http://www.melgotserved.com/.)

Hometowns! Never dull, always awesome. The dates are always in order of who the person likes the least to who s/he likes the best. Every. Single. Time. So although I saw it coming, I felt bad for #1 and #2…

Zak in Dallas

I HEART MAJORLY Des’s stripey tee and aqua/turquoise cropped leather jacket.

Their initial embrace was like siblings, not like lust-heavy after an absence. His dream about melting into the sand, and then ice crystals, and then something… what? Doesn’t it suck when people recount their dreams to you? I can’t even feign interest. But it’s a lead-in to:

His family has a sno-cone business. So they ride in the truck, feed sno-cones to little kids, and Zak runs around in a penguin costume.

Cute, upper middle class, energetic, bouncy, attractive, Texas family. I feel like his family is better looking than Des. Mean? And OMG, of course Zak’s mom has a better body than me. That always happens. And ok, his sister is pretty but I feel like the hair extensions were not necessary. But it’s Texas, amirite?

Zak and his mom sorta look the same age. This hometown really makes me like Zak. Not that I ever didn’t like him, but he’s been a bit of a sleeper hit this season.

The family has its own band and they play a song for Des. I can’t tell if her tears are happy or sad because she knows she’s going to break his heart. He gives her A RING, KISSES HER, AND SAYS I LOVE YOU. Zak brought his big guns out in Texas. Ay caramba is he screwed.

Gay Drew in Scottsdale

Des runs to him and is already a million times more physically excited than she was with Zak.

I feel for Drew: this will be the first time his dad is ever in his mom’s house since their divorce. Reality tv brings people together!

First they go to the group home where Drew’s mentally disabled sister, Melissa, lives. It’s really touching and beautiful. I can’t be snarky about it. In the least. Except that Drew just drove without a seatbelt.

The family sits for a gorgeous al fresco meal. No mention of where they have locked Melissa away.

Drew opens up to his mom about Des as his soul-mate. Des describes his eyes to Drew’s dad. Drew’s dad tells Des she has met a angel because she met Melissa. Which is heartbreakingly beautiful. Even though they excluded her from dinner. Overall, Drew’s parents are very warm and welcoming of Des and supportive of Drew.

Des: “I want to join Drew’s family right now. I want to stay.” Whoa. Lots more embracing than with Zak. With Zak she was trying to get into the getaway vehicle while he was still talking. But back to Drew:

He says “I love you.” They have a kissy, handsy goodbye.

Chris in Oregon

Chris takes Des to the youth field where he started his career leading to professional baseball. Oh, Chris looks cute in a baseball tee! After some home runs, Des shows Chris a book of drawings she made him chronicling their relationship so far. Um, she stole that idea from Zak. #burnedyo

I love that the family serves spaghetti! Chris’s dad, George, gives Des a chiropractic treatment in his home office. I would be like: I want to finish my spaghetti! And Oh Em Gee, Chris’s dad then gives him  NOSE ADJUSTMENT. And I have to look up Chris’s nasal passages and see his snot. Also, the whole family bashes Chris’s ex to him. Mom seems like a tough cookie, so when she delivers the good news that Chris has her blessing to welcome Des into the family, it’s more meaningful than a lot of these family visits. Oh lord, I feel like if Des doesn’t pick Chris she will break his entire family’s hearts!

Lots of getaway car smooching. Should I mention poor Zak again?

Brooks in SLC

The opening shot in the montage is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints temple so I guess the Mormon question has been answered? They hang out in a park and Des relives their brief courtship through notes she jotted down on the airplane. Then they go on a canoe.

They go meet Brooks’s ginormous family, all wearing nametags. During the mini chats, it’s clear everyone in Brooks’s family is very deep and tender and thoughtful kind. Mormons!

I like that Brooks and his mom tell each other they are each one’s “favorite.” I hope that goes down well with the 13 other siblings!

The Des Brother Segment Which is a Horrible Waste of Time and An Obvious Producer Misstep

In the media, Des has basically admitted she is not close to her brother at all. So this is just dumb. Yeah, her brother was an a-hole to Sean, but it’s not exciting anymore. It looks she would rather be at the dentist than recount her feelings about the remaining guys to her brother, and yet that’s precisely what Des does. I like how he’s worried she’ll “get her heart broken again”, when he was the direct cause of said heartbreak.

Rose Ceremony

Des’s dress has sparkles, but it’s pretty! Because there’s just a few, and they are placed modernly. Look who has been stepping up her style game lately. Also, and this is just a very minor thing- um, well, how do I say this, uh,

DES SAYS SHE WANTS A PROPOSAL FROM BROOKS.

Alrighty then.

(Oh wait, side note: if she knows she wants a proposal from Brooks, I actually think it’s rude for Des to let anyone continue on further/farther.)

Des always gives roses in order of her faves, like reverse-order of hometown dates. She is like a manipulative producer’s worst nightmare.

Brooks
Chris
Drew

Oh poor Zak the Fluid Guy! He never really had a chance. And after his family performed that song! Des twists the knife by giving the promise ring back.

Previews

Men Tell All next week. Who cares. Boring. Whatever. Des already told us who she wants. And then in two weeks Des has overnights with the three remaining guys. It looks a bit steamy (ahem, Des and Chris making out on the beach in the rushing waves), which confuses me because I do not see how she could end up with a good Mormon after he witnesses that.

I don’t even re-read or proof this post. That’s how much I care about Des’s well-being.

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8 Comments

Filed under bachelorette episode recap

8 responses to “bachelorette des episode 8: where des meets four families, all more awesome than her own

  1. Ari

    Yaellll you never disappoint. I’m so glad that we’re best friends in my head.

    So first of all (completely unrelated to this season) do you think that Sean and Catherine are actually going to make it!? I called her as the winner last season weeks before the finale and they seem to be doing well. What do you think?

    Also (back to this season) WHY ARE THEY SHOWING ALL OF THIS STUFF WITH DES BEING SO SURE ABOUT BROOKS!? It’s so unlike the show to give stuff away like that so they must be setting us up for something dramatic to happen with him but I think that things will work out and he’ll win in the end. Although I do think drew is a better choice for des she seems to be taken with brooks.

    Okay also can we talk about how they had that preview 2 weeks ago where something super dramatic happens with drew and everyone is crying and they haven’t mentioned it since? Poor editing because once nothing dramatic happens in an episode you pretty much know that all the people involved are safe at that rose ceremony.

    When brooks wins who will be the next bachelor? Zac?

    I love you.
    Haha..
    But seriously you speak to my soul.

    • yael

      Ari, we should be real-life best friends too. I am always, always on the market. That’s what happens when you don’t have a sister.

      Good question about Sean and Catherine. I check their Twitter feeds occasionally just to see what their vibe is like and it still seems like they’re way into each other. I have my doubts that she can survive Texas, but I do think their religious faith(s) will benefit them. As nonreligious as I am, on a show as trampy as Bach, the believers probably do well in the end.

      I totally agree we’re being set up that she doesn’t pick Brooks. But I think there have been seasons that weren’t edited as surprises, so maybe it’s one of those? Like Brad picking Emily. That’s the only one that comes to mind right now.

      I am going to be POed if they don’t show Drew crying. I thought maybe he would come out of the closet, but I think if that were the case, ABC and Chris Harrison would be way more enthusiastic in their previews. Since clearly it would be ratings gold.

      Next Bachelor… hmmm. Zak has emerged as a bit of a fan favorite so maybe. Michael would be fun but I doubt popular enough. Chris would be BORING. Drew would be GAY. Dunno. I hope Bachelor Pad gets revitalized because there is a special spot in the hopefully over-chlorinated hot tub for James.

      Ari, BFF!

  2. Faye

    I always feel for hometowns, because here we are judging people’s families which we don’t do in normal life. BUT, if we are talking about it…..
    – Zak’s brother or sister for next bach/bachelorette

    Also, if all Des is interested in is Brooks and Chris, please send Drew home! If I were him watching this after, I would be really confused. But then I guess you have to remember that he signed up for a reality show.

    Unfortunately, I’m not agreeing on her fashion choices. I still think they are lame and if she has a budget and stylists, she could be doing much better.

    This season is still boring. I’m only watching because I have the time =)

    • yael

      I couldn’t tell if that hot guy at Zak’s house was his sister’s man, or his brother. I should have been paying better attention. But since Zak looks 40 and says he’s 31, I wonder how old his hot brother is.

  3. Gillian

    Hieeee!
    And just a thought, usually the men tell all is after the fantasy date epi so maybe it does all end in drama and there is no final two. Like brooks bows
    Out and dez calls the whole thing off.
    Idunno but something is up.

    • yael

      You blew my mind with that realization. I was thinking whooooooaaaaaaa. Thank goodness you all guide me through this.

      And since I am late with comments, it likes like you were on to something, given all the warnings by Chris Harrison!

  4. Bach Fan

    What the heck is up with them revealing that she loves Brooks?? There must be something else going on – I’m intrigued. And why the Men Tell All next week? There is either some drama or they’re leading us on (like ABC usually does). Also I don’t really see the appeal of Brooks. I think Chris is the best choice for her.

    • yael

      Ditto to my comment above. You guys are more clever than me.

      Also, I look forward to a season soon with less sparkles.

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