It is sometimes a cruel, cruel, cruel world.
For example (and this is just an example) Slingbox inexplicably didn’t tape the finale and iTunes inexplicably did not have it available for purchase the next day. I was a ball of nerves Tuesday. I had to watch this morning.
Why me, Mike Fleiss? Why me?
Sooooo in four days we are moving from London back to the US. Therefore, if it’s kewlwhichyou, I’m gonna just stick to the top line comments on the episode. Can’t wait to hear what you guys think.
“Live” 3-hour finale
- This doesn’t even make sense. So because a bunch of people are watching something previously taped now, it makes the finale “live”? Ugh.
Sean’s Family Meets Catherine
- Sean: “Nobody knows me better than my family.” And he seems like he means it. One in a million.
- Sean’s family arrives so let’s do roll call: Adorable niece and nephew? Check. Skinny and gorgeous mom? Check. Skinny and gorgeous sister? Check. Strong, silent, handsome brother-in-law? Check. Bald and be-speckled possibly-closeted dad? Check.
- Sean: “You’re going to meet Catherine today. She’s weird and funny.” No one’s gonna let this weird/nerd thing die, huh?
- Mom: “If you’re going to propose it would seem you should be sure by now which one.” Oh hahahahahahahaaha.
- Catherine’s vertical-striped graphic dress is a major high point for me in the episode.
- Shay also of course brings it with her perfect loose bright green shirt and chunky hot pink bracelet, plus she gives a nice quick toast at lunch. Imagine gaining her as your sister-in-law?! If you want a play-by-play of her family’s trip to Thailand to meet the final two girls, check out her blog.
- It seemed to me like when skeptical mom Sherry was finally sold on Catherine during their chat together, her Southern accent came out stronger.
- Dad Jay is probably talking Jesus but it’s been edited out. Jay: “When Shay married Andrew, he became my best friend.” (Creepy?) “If it’s you that Sean ends marrying, you will never have a bigger fan than me. And that’s the truth. I will love you like my daughter.” “I just met you and that’s what’s cool about it. Sometimes you just know.” “We can’t wait to get you back to meet the gang.”
- Please adopt me. PLEASE.
Sean’s Family Meets Lindsay
- Sean receives Lindsay from Van 17 more like she’s the one he wants.
- It’s a laugh-a-minute with Lindsay on the couch and Sean’s family gathered around.
- I feel like Dad Jay (did he sneak a hot pink tee under his button-down?) is asking questions like he’s a marriage counselor. It’s the pastor in him. “On the day Sean was born… we began on that day praying for his wife.” (Creepy??) “Sometimes when you look in someone’s eyes, like yours, you wonder is that the one I have been praying for all these years? If it is, I couldn’t be more happy.”
- Lindsay after that, just like Catherine did when Jay spoke his pastory words right into her heart. Jay may have a heart of gold and the gift of sermoning, but now I know where Sean gets his ability to two-time from! Just because it’s delivered with grace doesn’t make the message less of a lead-on!
- Lindsay gets Sherry’s blessing because she has the right “value” which I think is a euphemism for Loving the Lord.
- Sherry: “You’re just a wonderful, sweet, YOUNG woman.” This adjective may have been emphasized because Lindsay used her baby voice in front of the family.
- Lindsay gives a head massage while she kisses Sean. That’s a good idea. Note to self.
- Sean looks like he’s going to cry when she leaves in the van.
- Mom is the voice of reason. “You don’t want to propose to anyone feeling pressure.” Sean says he wants Mom’s support, not really her opinion. Mom cries, she’s so worried. I start crying, because I’m a mom and I have sons and… but wait, what is it? Am I worried one of my kids might go on the Bachelor? Knowing their preordained heights, I think we’re all clear.
- (Also, the camera people are lurking in the jungle brush behind them.)
Last Date with Lindsay
- Years from now when Sean and his wife watch their courtship all over again, he is going to really, really regret the aqua muscle tanks. I am regretting it even now. He loves the blue top / red shorts thing. Is that like what a Dallas stylist told him to never veer from?
- Lindsay is looking a little saucy in pink shorty shorts and her tee twisted in a side-bottom know a la 1985. Together they look like the start of a pretty ok porno. Sean just needs a mustache and Lindsay needs a calf tattoo to match her ankle and wrist ones.
- One of my favorite conversations ever took place on the raft going down the Mekong River:
“This is Myanmar, that’s Thailand.”
“And then the mountains on the other side (points) that’s Laos, or LAO as they say here.”
“That’s cool!!” (vacant look)
- You know what else is cool? Systematic oppression of human rights.
- The fake hands binoculars were kinda cute. I’m such a softie!
- Sean can picture Lindsay being a “hot, old chick” which is funny and most likely true.
- I like how Lindsay cleans up at night into a tight red dress and slick hairdo. Sean blows it in a peach v-neck tee but we know Sean will never give up the pastels and Easter egg colors.
- Lindsay’s surprise for Sean is one of those Thai rice paper lantern things that you write wishes on (Love, Happiness, and Family) and then send them off. Too bad Ashley did this on her date with a guy she didn’t end up with. Also, what does it mean when the lantern flame finally dies and it plummets into a landfill heap somewhere?
Last Date with Catherine
- They’re both wearing purple and then an elephant comes.
- I think from an elephant’s perspective, this would beat standing on one leg and juggling a ball.
- Then the couple snuggles and say they always imagine their future together. Sean is making some big promises to BOTH these girls.
- (Catherine doesn’t make eye contact a lot. Also, remember when she was devastated when her best friend Lesley/Leslie got sent home? I still want someone to explain that to me.)
- Catherine gives a little speech at night on the couch but I just don’t think this is her strong suit. She always gets super serious, frowny and speaks in a monotone.
- Where things get interesting is when they’re saying their goodbyes. Sean starts to seem distant and miserable and just gives a lame goodbye kiss while Catherine is finally professing her love for him. For a second I thought it’s because he knew she wasn’t the one. Then I saw a scrapbook in his hand that she had made him. There is a reason the producers didn’t leave the part where she gives it to him in the footage (because they wanted to downplay that undeniable connection) so that’s when for the first time I realized Catherine could really win this. When she follows him crying because he looks miserable, that must have been the moment Sean realized he had to dump Lindsay. I don’t know because there is a lurky camera operator distracting me.
- Sean is shirt-less. He stares off the balcony, as you must. “I woke up this morning and I just knew there was a woman I couldn’t live without.”
- Sean: “Neil Lane!” Is it just me or does Neil Lane button one less shirt button every new season?
- Sean is crying just talking about the day ahead. Awwwwwww.
- Lindsay dresses as a silver shiny sparklepuss. Catherine as a gold shiny sparklepuss. And true to their personalities, Lindsay is excited and jubilant and Catherine is miserable happy.
- I think the live studio audience cheers louder for Catherine because everyone relates more to the nervous underdog who will most likely get chubby later in life.
- Chris B Harrison is wasting my time with these pointless in-studio interviews. PLAY THE ENDING. I HAVE THE SCHOOL PICK-UP.
- The ankle tattoo comes out of the car first. That actually surprises me. Wow, I thought Lindsay had it. GOOD EDITING, PRODUCERS! Also, Sean realllllllly led her on their last night together (“Don’t be nervous.”) but whatever. Kudos to all of you who called Catherine as the dark horse. I didn’t really think it could be so.
- Sean actually gives Lindsay a nice send-off speech- maybe one of the best in the show’s history. And he cries. That doesn’t happen a lot. And she stays classy and graceful, to her credit. She’s 24. It will happen for her. Even though she cries in the taxi van after and says this has happened to her “100 times”. Um, that’s weird.
- Chris B Harrison delivers a letter to Sean, which is obviously from Catherine since that was their schtick all along.
- Catherine walks down. Sean: “I never want to say goodbye to you.”
- I AM BAWLING. What has gotten into me? I thought it was just sort of a generic season but it ended pretty romantically.
- I feel like their post-proposal embrace is the most real I have seen too. Instead of whooping and hollering and lifting her up, they just seem overwhelmed, grateful, shocked and in love. That plus the fact that they have agreed to let ABC produce and air their wedding (which is gross but also seems to ensure success if you consider Trista/Ryan, Jason/Molly, and Ashley/JP) means things may work out.
Not to nitpik and nice ending but Sean comes off SO IN LOVE with Catherine and sings her praises but Catherine just wants to make fun of herself, smile about the ring, and never really answers a direct question. For now they’re cute on Instagram (but so were Emily and Jef) and at least my faith in this show (never gone, but shaken) is restored.
Desiree. I finally am going to have to learn if she spells it Dez or Des.
Her brother should come to all the cocktail parties.