Wait, you guys- I might have just made up a new word: Precap. Def. to predictively recap before an episode airs. If it’s already in the lexicon, don’t tell me. Unless you hate me.
So I meant to recap Ashley and JP’s wedding (which I obviously I watched. You guys know me by now) but then a few things happened. One, it was the ’tis the season season and I couldn’t be bothered. Two, the wedding itself was pretty boring, drama-free and even the Bachelor franchise has-beens in attendance were sort of tame/edited out. I felt like Ash.P. were smart to let the wedding air on ABC (save their money for something they really want) but I do think by turning the reins over to a LA location and celebrity LA planners and vendors, to me the wedding looked and felt totally generic and didn’t have much of their personalities infused. These are East Coasters. One’s a New Yorker. LA is blasphemous. Whatever. I love that cute little couple. They have some really great, genuine, grown-up, pleasant chemistry and I hope they make it. It’s a crapshoot for anyone, but I am rooting for that pair. And how hard-core of JP to shave his head when he’s not even balding.
That recent dose of actual committed love to come out of this stinkhole franchise will surely sustain us all through Sean’s season. Because here’s the thing: I don’t think Sean is going to marry anyone from his season. I think he will earnestly believe he’s going to, and he will try to and he will listen to the producers. Because he’s a good boy. But the specter of mega-fame will just loom too large. And ultimately if you are something as boring as an insurance agent from Dallas, you’re going to ride these 15 minutes into oblivion.
But I promise I have an open mind.
Have fun watching in America, #bachelornation! Greenwich Mean Time viewing begins tomorrow.