bachelorette emily episode 8 recap: will kensington share her play house with ricki?

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Oh holy, the previews make this look better than your run-of-the-mill hometown dates.

A limo brings Emily home from cold, rainy, boring Europe in the dark. She has a reunion with Ricki. I honestly cry for a second. More than a few. Thank goodness for Emily as Bachelorette because it’s really nice seeing a parent on this show. No time for bullshit. Or less time at least.

Emily then recaps the four remaining guys. I always think order on this show is important. So her recap is: Chris (I forget what she says), Jef (unique, adventure), Arie (fun and excitement, so attracted to him, bad boy edge, first kiss was perfect, guys like Arie are really hard to find, would adore me forever) and Sean (makes me feel safe, life would be great).

I like how after tucking Ricki into bed, Emily is checking the windows and locking the door. THERE IS STILL A DANGEROUS CAMERA CREW IN YOUR HOUSE!

Chicago hometown date with Chris

When they greet they’re not very handsy so I don’t know. I feel like Chris is always very nervous and awkward which I guess is nice because it’s very real. But geez, he’s a nervous nelly. Chris is real Chicago because his family is Polish and he is first generation American. I kind of hope they will eat some kielbasa and pierogi or something, but maybe that’s just because now it’s what I’m hungry for now. Chris gives the lowdown on his close-knit family and reveals he’s a momma’s boy. Also, what’s the point of going to a Polish restaurant if you’re just ordering beers. Kielbasa now, damnit!

Off to Hanover Park. The family squeals and Emily stays more calm and sticks her hand out to shake. Hmm. I feel bad the family got one of those ugly flower arrangements for the dining room table that people think work on camera. Dad has a chat alone with Emily. She wants to know if Chris is ready to inherit a 6 year-old. I feel like Dad really doesn’t answer. Mom tells Chris to get out there and kick ass and fight for Emily. Chris says he has the best mom in the whole world. Cue my waterworks, again! Big Sis Renee asks Emily not to drag it out if Chris isn’t the one. It’s so nice of her to be so protective, but clearly she doesn’t know how ABC production works.

Chris holds Emily in front of the exit vehicle and tells Emily he is in love with her. The way she kisses him and looks at him and uses her hand, I think she may reciprocate. Emily is beguiling that way. Sometimes you can tell how she feels, sometimes you can’t. But why use your hands during the kiss if you’re going to boot the guy? I digress. Chris surprises Emily with a party full of loved ones and Polish music and dancing. That’s cute. I was thinking before the whole date was a little boring. So way to step it up, Chris.

St. George, Utah hometown date with Jef

If I didn’t already have a big enough crush on Jef, he takes Emily to his family’s property, Holmstead Ranch, by National Forest in St. George. I have actually been to St. George for a wedding, and it does really look this ridiculous. Oh crap, I want to marry Jef now. The cute couple gets into some dune buggy Jeep thing. Then they stop go clay pigeon shooting. Jef is a “little bit country” which is good for Emily and her West Va hood rat thing. Emily is coy about using the gun but then nails the clay pigeons each and every time. I am sure nothing was edited. The two of them get so hot for each other while each handling a gun. I feel like a voyeur in a weird fetish room but the whole thing is cute anyway.

Re the parents: “They’re in South Carolina doing charity work.” Jef is not fooling anyone. They are converting a bunch of people to LDS. Emily is nervous because Jef broke up with an ex when his parents didn’t like her. And Ricki is proof Emily has had premarital sex. Sigh.

How cute is Emily’s flowy white dress and cowboy boots?

A million siblings and children emerge. And they’re all blonde which is shocking in Utah. Steve the older brother does a lemonade cheers and they all laugh. Mormon humor! Steve eventually gives his seal of approval. Then it’s the sisters’ turn. When Emily asks them if Jef is ready for a family, there is a very telling pause. But they all soften up and when Emily gives one of the little kids a cuddle at the end, the girls are on board. Steve though is doubting Jef. He suggests maybe the bottled water company CEO maybe isn’t ready for a family.

Jef takes Emily to an outrageously scenic panoramic overlook and he reads a letter to Emily he wrote on the plane home from Prague. And although Jef never looks up at Emily and makes eye contact while reading, I cry for like the 9th time this episode. He talks about all the things he wants to teach Ricki and all the ways he will be there for her and how he will love Emily forever. JEF FOR NEXT BACHELOR (if he doesn’t win). Emily clearly is bowled over and smitten and calls the day “perfect”.

Scottsdale hometown date with Arie

Emily meets Arie at the Phoenix Raceway while Arie is racing around, showing off. This is Emily’s first time in the Indy world. I love how Emily walks up in her racing suit but with the top hanging off so her boobs in their tight tank top still get some airtime.

After a whiz around the racetrack, they throw down a picnic blanket at a grassy spot in town and Arie expresses nervousness that his parents are so European (Dutch) and have open values and Emily is so all-American (and I guess basically insinuating she is conservative). Arie is most nervous about his mom.

Can we talk for a second about mom Mieke, and those CA-UTE Justin Bieber-haired twin brothers, Luca and Alec?!! Has Mieke had work done? It’s weird for me that I can’t tell. They all start speaking Dutch. I love it because Dutch is the ugliest-sounding language on Earth, right behind Vietnamese.

Mom takes Emily aside and grills her because she had seen her season with Brad. That must be a little weird when your prospective in-laws have already watched a tv series starring you. But Mom softens and they bond over considering the good/bad life of a race car driver’s wife.

Also, it’s not creepy at all when Arie Sr says he also “likes Emily’s little Southern accent too hee hee hee.”

Dallas, Texas hometown date with Sean

Sean’s got two great dogs so I’m sold so far.

Sean made a promise after an ex he didn’t love that he will “never let a woman give herself to him if he can’t reciprocate.” It may be a euphemism but ok, point taken.

They head over to his parents. Is it like a prerequisite for this show to be wealthy? The house is beautiful on the outside. Not my taste on the inside, but whatever. They clearly have some cash. The “perfect” family awaits replete with squealing little niece, Kensington and nephew, Smith. Those that know me well know how angry those two kid names just made me. I will get over it though. I like Sean and I like Emily and giving children trendy-sounding names is not yet codified in the US to be a criminal act. One day, maybe.

Sean is getting ready for a big reveal. After a dramatic pause and stricken looks on the faces of his family members, Sean admits he still lives with his parents. “I don’t need to live here. I just feel more comfortable here.” I am dying inside because that’s the worst possible reason to live at home.

And clearly Emily is suffering with this news. And then Sean makes the terrible mistake of bringing Emily to his bedroom at his parents and it’s a mess and there are stuffed animals everywhere. Sean says: “I wish my mom had picked up a little.” So he lives at home, is messy and thinks his mom should do his dirty work. Three strikes! And then Sean says he’s kidding. And I actually laughed out loud because um, it was kind of funny. Although it is always nerve-wracking when someone is such a good liar. Let’s just hope Sean always uses that talent for good, not evil.

Sean has a chat with his dad who “taught him how to be a man” and who he clearly admires and greatly respects. His dad is cute and sweet in his sit-down chats and cargo shorts. Mom is naturally attractive and her Southern accent rivals Emily’s.

When Sean is seeing Emily off, she says “I’m going to miss you” like five times so I would be surprised if she sends him home this week. He runs after the car for one last kiss. Lately I feel like Sean just wants to run on camera. He has probably been working extra hard on his glutes or something.

Rose Ceremony

I like how Chris Harrison says “Welcome to the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills.” So douchey. Also, why does this 5 minute segment have to be taped in LA? How annoying to fly everyone there. Just do it in Charlotte, jeez.

Emily is wearing another bad dress with bedazzling. Even though it’s royal blue, I can’t salvage this one.

Emily debriefs the dates: Chris told me he loves me. With Jef I immediately felt at home in Utah. Arie told me he loves me. Date with Sean went perfect. Or something to that effect.

I can’t discern anything from Emily’s poker face though. Usually after hometowns you know you will get axed because there was no evident chemistry or the person’s family was a disaster. But all the families were great and Emily seemed genuinely into all the guys. She makes this hard. Roses to:

Arie

Jef

Sean

I guess if pressed I would have known she was cutting Chris. It’s just that she made the point in Chicago to give him some cuddly kissy love and maybe she shouldn’t have done that.

Chris doesn’t take it well but I like that in the sense it means he was genuine and is surprised. He actually asks her what it was. I am so glad for that because I think it’s bizarre when people just storm off in a fit. I mean, of course deep down everyone wants to know why they’re rejected.

Chris: “I am ten times the man of all those dudes still there.” Um, is that even remotely true and was it necessary?

Peviews for Curacao

Emily makes out with all of them but I think she tells Arie at one point he is the light at the end of the tunnel in the whole thing for her. Did I hear that right? Groan.

This season Emily is so good at seeming happy and in love with everyone and the guys are such good guys that I kind of just want to read a spoiler. The suspense is killing me!

Well, that’s it until next week. I am off to have some steamed armadillo. HAHAHAHAHAHA. (Sean’s family is so wholesome, even their practical jokes are G-rated and don’t last very long.)

Brackets

So apparently Sean is a major sleeper hit since none of us had him going past Week 5 except for Jen. Jen’s good instincts also mean she’s well in the lead with 15 total points so far. In fact, the winner overall has to be Jen or Meghan since everyone else but those two only even have one last person standing possible for the Top Two after overnight dates. It’s interesting to see how many of us had Ryan and Doug going really far. And like I said, no one expected this from Sean. It’s good to see the Greatest Worst Show in History is keeping everyone on their toes. Total points are:

Jen 16
Meghan 15
Yael 13
Faye 12
Kelley 11
Meiko 8

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18 Comments

Filed under bachelorette episode recap

18 responses to “bachelorette emily episode 8 recap: will kensington share her play house with ricki?

  1. Pat

    Love your recap! So funny! I really thought it was so weird that when Emily came home from Europe, noone seemed to be home with little Ricky! Like she just stayed home alone for however long…no wonder she was glad to see her mom, she was hungry!
    Jef is way too cute for this horrible show. He really would be doing us all a favor to be the next bachelor if he doesn’t work out with Emily! She really looked touched by his heartfelt letter and really excited about him.
    Pat in ID

    • yael

      Hi Pat, thanks for joining in!

      I did think that was funny too. It was late at night and Ricki was still awake and all the lights in the house were blazing. I wonder how soothing it was when the camera crew put her to sleep.

  2. Elizabeth

    We’re about to leave to visit the in-laws for 2 weeks and I’m freaking out because I won’t have control of the tv and may not get to watch the Bachelorette. Look at what you’ve done to me!!!!

    As much as I love Emily, I do think she chose to lead Chris on a bit. After his whine last week that rivaled my five year old daughter’s rants when she thinks something isn’t fair, it has been clear that he’s the next to go. Emily doesn’t get dreamy-eyed when she looks at him. Plus every time he stomps his foot and declares himself a man, he regresses further into 5 year old girl territory. Emily may love being a parent, but I truly don’t think she wants to parent the same person she wants to create babies with.

    I’m so torn on Jef. Emily is clearly smitten, but being Mormon is no small thing. Even if Jef is not currently practising, his family very much is. Plus the way his family all felt he wasn’t ready was a giant red flag.

    I soured on Arie a while ago and what sealed it for me was how, instead of replying to his mother in English, Arie happily responded in Dutch and kept the conversation going for several minutes while Emily just died at his side. Beyond inconsiderate of her feelings. Now, I’m not saying that as the relationship progressed speaking Dutch with his family would be off limits, but for the very first time you bring her home?

    And his mother? Anyone that ballsy in confronting Emily about what happened with Brad is the kind of MIL that would scare the pants of me.

    And finally Sean. Ed and I were laughing so hard because, well, didn’t his father have the mannerisms and demeanor of someone who has comfortably been out and proud for a while? That aside, I feel in so many ways that Emily and Sean would make the best match, but is there a true connection besides it working on paper?

    So, like Emily, I’m extremely torn. And spoilers wouldn’t help. I know because I’ve looked and NOBODY has any reliable info past this point. We’re all walking in the dark.

    • yael

      I am pretty sure I have met your in-laws, Elizabeth, and they seem like nice people. I can’t imagine they would object to some good quality programming for the entire family. But at least you will be back home for the 3-HOUR finale. I am getting tired just thinking about all the recaps of the guys will have to be edited in to fill up that amount of time.

      I guess I would have felt more sorry for Chris but since they just announced he will be on Bachelor Pad, my guess is things will work out just fine for him. Unless he is the whiney one in the house. But people always seem to be able to pull out new personas for BP.

      Agree on the difficulty of Jef coming from such a Mormon family. And how that was annoying Arie just kept speaking in Dutch with his family. I read one comment on a blog was talking about how Arie’s lips are freakishly small and he licks them before he goes in for a kiss. I’m going to have to look out for that now because I am wondering if that’s the thing throwing me off about him.

      Yes, COMPLETELY thought Sean’s dad was out and proud! I am actually surprised he was wearing cargo shorts when it would have made more sense to be rockin’ jorts or something.

      Safe travels! Don’t deny Emily her fan base.

  3. Lyla

    Can I just say that I have been addicted to this show since the beginning and can’t believe I just stumbled onto your blog. Nobody I know likes this show but me. I always thought that maybe I was a freak. Anyway, love reading what you have to say about the show. And I have been team Sean from day 1!!!!!!!

    • yael

      Hi, Lyla!! My guess is you just need to dump all your friends and start fresh. Or less drastically, come join us each week 🙂

  4. Kyle

    Yay for your recap!! Last night’s show was unique because normally I fast forward through most of the hometown date. There are usually some crazies and I start feeling bad or feeling nervous for them so I fast forward. Not so last night– in fact, I found myself having to go backwards to see things again…like “The Holmstead”. What the what? This place has a gate and a name, people. Who owns 100 acres…and a dune buggy…and a lake/pond…and a barn…and livestock…and a bitchin play set…Jef Holm, that’s who. And now we know how he can be an entrepreneur. I’d like to give water to people too but my parents don’t own a friggin Mormon-style Graceland. So I want to either live there or in Kensington’s Cottage. That playhouse had matching valances!

    I thought Sean’s joke was pretty darn funny and particularly liked that he named the stuffed animals (Froggy was my favorite). Overall, I probably liked his family “best” given how warm they seemed, but, as much as I want her to love Sean like I love Sean, I feel like he is getting the “perfect” edit. I feel like they are grooming that kid to be the next next Bachelor. Can’t say I’d mind.

    Arie’s hometown didn’t do much for me. His family sort of creeped me out but I can’t put my finger on why. Maybe it was the twins’ hair? I had a “smarmy” feeling from his Dad which is funny because sometimes I get that from Arie too. The mom seemed like a fan, more than a mom, wanting the deets on Brad!

    I think she loves Jef. I mean, that letter?? To quote Jef himself (and half of the 22 year old boys in my department) “(he) nailed it”. He is so all about Ricki…as a mom, how can you not love that? He wants to teach her how to fall madly in love. He wants to sing into hairbrushes with her and be the fun dad. He bought her a puppet. Sean and Arie barely mention Ricki. And then Jef talks dirty to Emily so she doesn’t feel like she’s only a mom.

    When Emily did her little hoedown dance thing (as they were walking), I said to my husband “skinny jeans has this locked up”. First episode where I found him pretty stinkin hot too.

    I can’t wait to see how it all plays out!!

    • yael

      Kyle, you have a good eye for important details. No, this isn’t your annual appraisal at work. This is me admiring you for catching Kensington’s play house valances! But seriously, with a play house like that, my concern is that the rest of life woud feel like a downhill disappointment. You know, like a poor college student with flat-packed IKEA furniture and Top Ramen for dinner.

      I TOTALLY thought that too when Emily danced that little jig walking with Jef! It’s like she can’t help but be her goofy self and let her happy shine through. Totally smitten. I actually think in the long run it would be Jef that ended things, not Emily. His older brother alluded in a roundabout way to the fact that maybe Jef is too cool for the family life at the moment. With a pompadour, skateboarding and a bottled water company, he probably thinks he’s a badass more than he lets on.

  5. faye

    I’m officially in LOVE with Jef. I’ve taken some time to stalk him on the internet. Check out these amazing pictures/posts (no spoilers):

    Suits on suits

    A post shared by Jef Holm (@jefholm) on

    a page to all things Jef: http://okhereisthesituation.com/2012/06/the-bachelorettes-jef-holms-very-unofficial-dreamboat-fan-page/

    During my research, I came across a rumor that Ali’s Roberto is in talks to be the next Bachelor: http://okhereisthesituation.com/2012/07/roberto-martinez-asking-for-750000-to-be-the-next-bachelor/

    Can’t wait until next week. We better watch together!

    • yael

      You and I have to duke it out for Jef’s affections! Those pics of him are sa-mokin.

      I think Roberto would be a terribly boring Bachelor. Ugh.

  6. Gillian

    I’ve been an Arie fan from pretty early on, but I watched with friends last week and one mentioned that he looks like he had Hep C. Or had his face waxed recently. It made me giggle. But there is something mysterious going on with his lip/face color blend. Check it out.

    Chris had a temper and I’m glad he’s gone but did feel sorry for him because his sad totally told him that Emily said she is falling in love with him. Did she???? I think something got lost in translation there.

    Still lovin jef and thought em looked prettiest on That date which is telling. I also adored that dress. Apparently it’s All Saints and I totes want to wear it to my daughter’s third bday fiesta. But I digress.

    I’m just dying to see how the fantasy suite date cards go over with an evangelical, a most likely Mormon, and a Southern Mom. Can’t wait!

    • yael

      GOOD call on Arie’s face. He does always seem kind of waxy shiny. Weird.

      Em’s All Saints dress really was the bomb. If I had a body like that, I would so love to rock it to a 3 year old throwdown. Get yours!

      Yeah, seriously on the fantasy dates. There is no way there are overnights. I will be shocked…

  7. I was totally OK with Chris getting the boot. His whole age-ain’t-nothin-but-a-number thing was getting annoying, BECAUSE HE IS WRONG, and also I was scared by his creepy eyes and hoped she didn’t pick him because that would have all gone horribly wrong, FAST, as soon as the show ended. I was also put off by his waaaaay over-emotional behavior. This is a television show, buddy. You know what you’re signing up for. Reign that shit in.

    I’m now at the point where I’m sad for everyone. I get to this point with American Idol and Top Chef, too. They’re all so talented! They ALL deserve to win!

    Jef is smoking hot except I keep remembering that week when he was wearing salmon-colored shorts, loafers, and knee socks to the rose ceremony. I thought that was just too much to take sitting down, and that’s coming from someone who spent a LOT of their time in the land that gave life to the “Halloween or Williamsburg?” blog. I was also just plain disgusted by all of them happily toasting on that beautiful day with LEMONADE. Good God. All that stunning land and not a bottle of Rosé in sight! Such a waste of good scenery.

    Sean is TOO adorable. I’m totally going to out Husband here for watching the episode with me, but he was pretty much screaming at the TV that the “I Live at Home” joke was a prank the second they showed the carefully-placed cookie and chip crumbs on his dresser. I had also guessed it was a set up at that point, which basically just made it extremely uncomfortable to watch. (Cause you know his mom IS going to have to clean that now, poor thing.)

    I have loved watching Emily and Arie together up until this point. But does anyone else think it’s weird that he has totally been styled by and for the show? (Old photos of him are NOT floating around the internet and populating entire fan pages for the same reason photos of Jef ARE). So, he’s cute for the first time in his life, which I think is weird but also maybe why he’s so genuine? I didn’t hold it against him when they were speaking Dutch at the table, because, to be fair, it really didn’t seem like his parents were very comfortable with English. It didn’t feel like they were just doing it for fun — it seemed like it was partially out of necessity. But I did want to slap him when they were on their picnic blanket earlier in the day; Him warning her about his carefree, open, European (read: better than everyone else’s) parents; Because I had an ex who totally made me feel like I would never be refined enough to meet his Euro parents, and talked about the differences in a veiled, polite way like that, but basically he was just saying “They are awesome and worldly, and Americans are classless.” Annoying. Cause I am awesome and watch great television and write really great run-on sentences.

    • yael

      So now I am dying to search Arie on the interwebs so see how Before image- but I am so afraid some big spoiler will pop up like some Google Images of a proposal. So I will wait…

      The thing about when he was saying his parents were So European- that was snotty and holier-than-thou but I feel like I would have made the same comment. Like a genuine fear your worlds wouldn’t mesh. I don’t know. Some people would argue genteel Southerners are the superior ones to his tatted-our race car driving family.

      This season is perplexing me! I like all three guys remaining and so does Emily. But I just think Sean might be the only one who it wouldn’t end up in a break-up. We shall see!

      • TOTALLY agree with you about Sean being the one it wouldn’t end badly with.

        Not impressed:

        And this is moderately-to-very creepy:

    • yael

      Wait, I can’t see your pic attachments!

  8. Oops – photo posting did not work.

    Not impressed:

    And this is moderately-to-very creepy:

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