bachelorette emily episode 3 recap: might as well cut the middleman and let ricki audition her prospective daddies

This one’s in the bag.

Ooh the preview makes the episode look so good!

The episode opens with horses neighing and then Emily’s McMansion comes into view. I don’t know if we’re made to think she lives smack in the middle of horse country or what. Emily’s mom (with SO much eye make-up) brings Em breakfast on a tray in her McMasterBedroom and Ricki the Daughter doesn’t want to come hang out. No one ever explains why she gets breakfast in bed and why she’s already dressed and made up. Emily and her mom then have a weird jovial-seeming convo where the disturbing subtext is that Emily is neglecting her child by being on a reality tv show. Also, I don’t mean to quibble (yes, yes I do) but Emily tries to make a joke that Ricki falls asleep each night splayed out in her bed and therefore she has no room to get in it when she gets home at night from her dates. Since Emily’s bed looks to be a canopied California King, I have no idea how this is possible. I could fit my entire family in that bed + our cantankerous elderly downstairs Welsh neighbors. Should they want to join, that is.

Chris Harrison gathers the men in the Chansion courtyard. The camera pans some of them and I am reminded the men did get much better looking after Week 1. I would do some of these men. And really, I should be the arbiter of who is doable. Why are the men wearing short sleeves and Chris Harrison is wearing a light jacket? We find out there will be two 1-on-1 dates and one group date. Mixing things up!! Not. Charlie, Sweet Brain-Damaged Charlie, reads the first date card, which goes to Chris. I do worry about the prospects of a 25-year old Corporate Sales Director from Chicago becoming an insta-stepdad.

Love is a Steady Climb date with Chris

I like Emily’s flowy tank top with motorcycle motif. Can we all just agree she looks so much better in civilian clothes than sparkly pageant gowns? This girl smokes us out in her everyday tees and shorts.

Usually we see the beginning of the date when the star picks up the intended. But for some reason this time we just see Emily and Chris already walking on their date. This deviation from formula really throws me. The couple stops at a building and rappelling ropes fall and Emily says “There ain’t no elevators, honey.” (The show needs some fresh script-writing.) It may be that I don’t really understand climbing, but there are no notches in the building for their feet so basically they are just being pulled up, right? Lame. A crowd has gathered below and the editing team is pumping in some thunder noises, pretending it’s from an oncoming storm. The couple gets to the top, the crowd cheers and I just feel relieved the fear-of-heights date is over for the season. Chris just keeps telling us he wants to kiss Emily. Possibly foreshadowing.

Emily’s hair blows around atop the building and tells Chris if she saw him at a bar she would be scared to approach him because he’s so cute. Again: we don’t believe you. Emily, caught off-guard, laughs and then seems so confused when Chris says he’s 25. She says it’s a ‘red flag’ which I am inclined to agree. But I want to congratulate this couple for once not making an earlier date activity consisting of a daring conquering of steep heights and danger the focal point of the rest of the evening’s conversation and fodder for multiple clichés.

–

Back at the ranch, Tony is on the phone with his son, Taylor, aggressively loving him.

Hey buddy how’s it going? Do you miss Daddy at all? I love you, Buddy.

bachelorette emily episode 2 recap: flower aprons for everyone!

I am insanely jealous.

First of all, I have been vindicated. I said last week to my friends that the guys will seem hotter once we know some of their personalities. Because, you know, women are saddled with the sorry trait of being attracted to personality. Anyway, I was right. This episode felt a little less Not and a little more Hot. Thank you; I came up with that myself. (I have no idea how to use a semicolon.)

The episode confusingly opens with some pretend Channel 9 Eyewitness News footage from Chopper 9 of the filming of the show in Charlotte. It segued to nothing so, thank you producers for wasting 5 extra seconds of my precious life.

Then there is a little scene where Emily and Ricki are hand-in-hand and stroll up to Emily’s other mom besties to shoot the shit about how they all have to take on her slack of parenting while she lives the life of a tv star. I surveyed the mummies, who cannot really be described as yummy, and I have this cautionary tale to impart: do not become mom friends with a woman who became a mom at 19. You will always look like your kid’s great-aunt in comparison.

Chris Harrison gathers the men in the courtyard of the Chansion (that’s what I am calling the Charlotte mansion. I am so clever!). There are lots of v-neck tees and so I may add that to the drinking game. Also, is it just me or does Chris Harrison look younger and slimmer and with maybe some fresh hair coloring? He is loving his dee-vorce, amirite?

The first date card gets dropped and someone says: “This just got real.” I will make that #1 on my list of Totally Non-Manly Things the Men Say or Do this Season. Chris wants the date card so badly but it goes to Ryan.

Ryan now rivals Courtney for a horrible response to getting a date card: “To hear my name called it was not necessarily a surprise. Much like going into a ball game, I’m never expecting to lose.” I’m going to cut Ryan a little slack because he turns out to be a little less awful than that comment, plus a lot of you seem to be sweating him, but I have got my eye on the guy. He’s like a good Christian version of the Jersey Shore people: GTL. Actually, he’s not as funny as Pauly D.

Ryan and his majorly d-bag hairdo try to redeem his comment with something about his pastor telling men to treat women like queens. But only because then the women treat their men like kings. Ryan, quit while your muscles are ahead.

Kalon interlude: He is like Emily in that without the veneers he would be better looking. I know he has a suspect personality. I just think it’s important to note this.

The Chansion is really growing on me. I like it better than the LA house.

On date day the boys are maxing and relaxing by the pool, giving their abs and pecs and traps and delts some much-needed air. The sausage party component to The Bachelorette is never not hilarious. Do you think, similar to prison, the men start to imagine which dude would be their “girlfriend” if times get desperate?

bachelorette emily premiere episode recap: slim pickins’, y’all!

Over eeeeasy, buddy.

So here we are again. It feels like only yesterday I was having serious Bachelor franchise fatigue. Oh wait, it was yesterday.

But you will be happy to hear I am now in it to win it. I am not sure why. Maybe because I really do believe Emily when she says she wants a husband and a minivan full of babies. Maybe because she has a child and made the show move to Charlotte and can’t fack around. I have been waiting years for an actual romance on this show. So watch I will.

There is just a slight problem: it’s kind of strange group of men, no? Obviously there are like one or two standouts (who we already know progress far because we are treated to previews of them kissing Emily in different outfits, establishing they make it multiple dates) but that seems like a pretty low number considering: (a) we’re starting with 25 guys and (b) Emily is ridiculously hottish. (I said “ish” only because the veneers and fake blonde hair thing are kind of overplayed on the pageant circuit). I just feel like maybe she would have merited a better crop.

The show opens to a scene of Emily pushing her daughter Ricki on a swing. It’s cute and precious and tugs at the heartstrings. This season will be interesting because unlike past stars, Emily won’t be able to fake her way through everything. She is already exposed since her heart is already outside her body in the form of her mini-me. Should be interesting.

It’s crazy to me Emily is 26 and lives in such a big, suburban, sensible house and has such an older person’s life already. She definitely missed out on any young, carefree, reckless and exciting young adult years. I think that has to be hard, no matter who you are and no matter how many god-given assets you’ve got in your hand.

Seeing the past scenes of Emily and Brad I am reminded that I did really like them together. He brought out the least robot in him and she really did seem in love with him. Has anyone ever gotten the straight story on why they broke up?

Last few comments on Emily: She is so strikingly poised. It’s rare in someone that age. But interesting we all thought she looked much older than 26. For Emily’s sake, I hope she only has to be engaged one more time. That would be awkward to be 3+.

Oh hello, Chris Harrison. You are getting a dee-vorce. What Up With That?

Something about this episode felt a little, hmm, unfinished. I don’t know. Too many boring guys. Too many not-good-looking-enough guys. Too many guys who don’t seem inittowinit or mature enough or well-matched to Emily. I really feel like this season must get better as it goes along because this episode just landed with a giant thud on the floor. I think part of what I am going to have to get used to is that Emily is such a departure from Ashley/Ali/Jillian. She is not an exuberant type person and even her excited reactions are delivered in a steady voice, and even-keeled manner. As a hyper person by genetics and choice, I can appreciate calm. But does it make for good tv?

There’s no point in even dissecting the show in chronological order. It’s all a blur of weird hairdos (seriously. This is the season of weirdest guy hair ever) and varying Spanish accents (including Emily’s terrible one. I can sing La Bamba better than she speaks). So let’s just get right to

The Men

Kalon – From Houston, Texas. Mentions that he’s good looking and has a few dollars in his pocket. So immediately he is a major douchebag. But then all of a sudden he pulls another douchebag move of unnecessarily wearing hipster nerd eyeglasses and this unexplained scientific phenomenon occurs where his two douchebag moves cancel each other out and for one second I find him cute and endearing. He enters on a helicopter which I am not sure how I feel about. I can see why the guys feel threatened and decide to immediately make him Enemy No. 1. The move is a little OTT. On the other hand, hmm, last season Rachel entered on a horse and I mean, really, both are statuses of wealth and both get attention and both are a different way to come to a party. Also, it’s freaking me out how much Kalon looks like a young Christopher Reeve. In the Superman days. Finally, Luxury Brand Consultant is a douchebag job title, and I didn’t like the way he told Emily twice that she was so gorgeous. Terribly unoriginal. Ugh, sorry, I keep talking about Kalon. I did think it was right for him to first refuse Sean permission to interrupt his one-on-one with Emily. It’s refreshing to see someone be greedy for that time with the person they are vying for, and frankly more honest.

bachelorette emily, a preliminary word (or 100)

I never think much about a season until the opening Chris Harrison voiceover that begins second 1 of episode 1.

But this time it’s different.

You see, I have honestly been worried that Ben and Courtney put me off the Bachelor franchise forever. Not because of their pairing per se. There have been worse pairings; less believable pairings; less compatible pairings; less interesting pairings; etc.

No, it’s more that I felt like both of them were just a little too cute and obvious in their public disdain for and outright disobedience regarding the show’s machinations. They were both caustic to all the other contestants, arrogant, acted incredibly put out all the time and then kept their simmering hostility not even beneath the surface when dealing with the press. They are two people well-matched because of how self-involved and fairly odious they have turned out to be.

And that makes me grumpy. I like to love/hate this show. Bring on the robots, the crazies, the people who make Vision Boards, the criers, the fake body parts and fake teeth and fake hair and fake personalities, the sluts, the prudes, the big city dreamers and actor-wannabes and twangs. Bring them all. But leave the arrogant holier-than-thou mediocre-looking a-holes at home please. I cannot handle one more season of that shit. I actually felt by the end Ben was making fun of us for watching his dog turd of a season. While laughing all the way to his piggy bank where he keeps his spare change profits from his dumb wine company. I dislike the guy. Immensely. It takes talent to actually make me miss guys like Brad and Jake.

And it didn’t help recently when US Weekly ran a story on how many couple have met on all the varying reality shows and stayed together. Biggest Loser comes in strong at seven legitimately happy married or almost-married couples. The Bachelor, on for way more seasons, comes in dead last at one marriage, one current engagement and I mean, are we even allowed to count Jason and Molly? Please let me, please.

I am nervous about Emily. I am nervous that a girl this smoking hot and generally amiable and well-liked is going to actually find a man for all time on this dumb show. She Who Dates Lots of Famous People. And I am even more skeptical that any of the guys they cast from open casting calls made for sad lot model wannabes and entrepreneurial guys looking for venture capital money actually want to inherit a daughter. I know they will say they want to when confronted with Emily’s chest area. But I mean, really.

And I am worried that Emily’s veneers will be the death of me.

But I live in eternal hope. Except that ABC has one more chance with me. I am warning you Mike Fleiss, I am not afraid to jump ship.

In the meantime, let the games begin! For all 5 regular readers and commenters to this blog, keep the good links and good dirt coming. I won’t be reading spoilers, of course. Because of, you know, how pure-hearted and spontaneous this show is.

P.S. BE PART OF OUR BRACKET! Print and fill this out: http://saynotocosmo.com/post/22784545304/emilys-bachelorette-bracket (fill out before the first rose ceremony) and then if you never see a spoiler and don’t cheat and believe in the honor system, submit your bracket via typed blog comment, email to me or email your scanned copy.

bachelor ben finale and ATFR recap: oh my dad, you’ll never believe who ben chose

You're my forever(ish).

Of course we all knew all along who Ben was going to choose, but because I pride myself on managing to avoid all spoilers being hurled in my face, there are only two ways I finally knew how it would all conclude: 1. That Courtney was allowed to show up at last week’s WTA and pimp her fake apologies, and 2. That I had no emails from friends and family when I woke up this morning.

Happy Tuesday!

Actually it is pretty happy. This particular season ending is a huge weight off my shoulder. Although I will miss my son’s British accent when he says “Bachelor”. He gets so excited when the show is on. #myfault

But before I gloat that I am cleansing myself of Ben + Courtney = True Love Always, we might as well for old time’s sake blog about it one more time. Whaddya say? Tonight Hubs came home a bit late, and I was annoyed because we had to turn the flat upside down for family coming into town tomorrow. I heard him before I saw him and when I looked up in the doorway, a lone red rose was peeking out past the door. One long solitary rose on a stem. And then he burst forward exclaiming “Happy Bachelor Finale!” I die. Thank you loyal blog reader, great friend and Most Pukey Prego Ever, Erin, for making my husband do that. You are a credit to this franchise.

On to the show! It’s kind of nice to see a finale set in snowy mountains, rather than a tropical destination. I am appreciating this change of pace. There are less bikinis, so there’s that.

Chris Harrison’s voiceover proclaims this “The most controversial finale in Bachelor history.” I give credit to the production team who finally came up with a new adjective after a decade. But to be fair, dramatic would have been a bold-faced lie.

Ben races to Zermatt, Switzerland on a train with dramatic music lending a certain flourish to the affair. We see the Swiss Alps. The Matterhorn. Ben says: “Monumental mountain. Monumental moment… I have two women who I am madly in love with.” I think he says that. Is it possible he is lying so seriously already?

Lindzi: Lights up a room.

Courtney: I still have concerns.

While Ben pretends he has a difficult decision at hand, the season’s theme song by David Gray plays. I think it’s worth a look at the lyrics.

The Matterhorn gives Ben hope. I don’t care about Ben but I do want to fly to Switzerland immediately. But first, his mom and sister arrive and it makes Ben want to cry. He loves and misses them, and he clearly is very close to them. They make him feel like “home” and like his “back-up has arrived.”

Ben describes the girls to his mom and sis to prepare them for the meetings. He actually has to mention that Courtney was a bit of a troublemaker when sister Julia asks if there was anyone in the house who none of the other girls liked. Considering that’s a weird question when it’s down to two, and one I have never seen a family member ask before, I am going to give Julia props for being well-coached by a producer.

Lindzi with Ben’s family

We might as well keep this short. Which is easy because all the signs point to Not Going to Happen. Ben and Lindzi are happy to see each other but I just don’t see the wow factor of laying your eyes again on the person you’re head over heels for. Lindzi is nervous and fumbly (does she sense her demise is imminent?). Ben is not even bothering to sell her.

The only interesting part of the interview process and contrived lunch is when sister Julia uses her alone time with Lindzi to ask for the scoop on Courtney. If Julia thought Lindzi even had a remote chance of winning she would try to get to know her future sister-in-law, but still it’s got my attention. Lindzi comes off as a master of diplomacy. Her biggest knock on Courtney is to say they are very different from one another. As my childminder says: “Lindzi hasn’t slagged her off!” That’s right. Lindzi is a beacon of civility. And proof that she and Courtney really are incredibly different. (In fact, ever the frontrunner but never one to miss an opportunity to shit-talk, later when asked about her pretend competition, Courtney accuses Lindzi of having no depth.)

Julia thinks Lindzi would fit right in and Mom says Lindzi is a lovely person. They totally did a good job reading their cue cards.

bachelor ben WTA recap: a chihuahua, crocodile tears and a tampon

My unruly cleavage is distracting me from my very distracting eyelash extensions.

Before we dive headfirst into the circus (with a surprising show of restraint on votive candles), I want to give a shout-out to Elizabeth and Ed. Elizabeth is a reader of and commenter on this blog as she suffers through the season along with the rest of us. She alerted her husband Ed (who happened to go to college with my husband and therefore they are good friends) to my plight of having a significant other who refuses to partake in my one and only extracurricular activity, and Ed has now started a nascent campaign of peer pressure to convince my hubs to watch the show. I am touched, you guys. In honor if it, I would like to list the Top Ten Reasons I Think Partners Will Really Enjoy This Franchise:

1. Women’s breasts, legs, butts and bikinis.
2. Women’s breasts, legs, butts and bikinis.
3. Women’s breasts, legs, butts and bikinis.
4. Women’s breasts, legs, butts and bikinis.
5. Women’s breasts, legs, butts and bikinis.
6. The guys are so douchey it’s fun to make fun of them.
7. Extreme sports are involved.
8. It makes a mockery of coupling up.
9. There is some hardcore scheming on Bachelor Pad.
10. Women’s breasts, legs, butts and bikinis.

Also, I just need to get this off my chest: I think it is super lame that in Chris Harrison’s blog last week, he misspelled Nicki’s name about 50 times. I don’t think it’s a trivial thing that you are the uber-rich host of a long-running television show who does very little in the way of work but gets to travel all over the world for the very reason that you are supposed to be good at feigning actual deep concern and excitement as the trials and triumphs of these people’s lives as they unfold, and that clearly your superiors who answer to the network have to edit and approve of your columns, and still this blatant and repeated error happens. Nicki got rejected in front of millions, and in doing so made you all (you all = Mike Fleiss, Chris Harrison, ABC and a bunch of minions) a lot of money. SPELL HER GD NAME CORRECTLY.

I feel better.

So The Women Tell All! Which, let’s be honest, is the only reason to ever watch these seasons. For the exact moment when you hope someone gets their comeuppance, or a burning question is satiated. Especially in what is basically the most boring, predictable, uninspiring and useless season, I was thinking it would be nice to have a few questions answered. And maybe a little drama on the side. And this show did not disappoint. HELLS YEAH, WTA!

From second one on the Previews of the Show that Airs 10 Seconds After the Previews Conclude, I could tell it was going to be good stuff. And in an unprecedented move, one of the Final Two comes on to face the castaways. More on that later, but for now let’s dive right in.

Bachelor Reunion Parties / Bachelor Pad Casting

I love these views inside the reunion parties in Vegas/LA/NY. I don’t know if the purpose is purely for the producers to feel out who would be good on Bachelor Pad, or to more generally just keep all the exes in touch, but it really is fun for me to see my old friends. I kind of get genuinely excited to see them. Ed, Reid, a bunch of hobags, that Princess girl, and FRANK. I am still as in love with Frank as I was on Ali’s season. And I am dead serious. I might leave my husband for Frank. Suck it, Erin. Also, Michelle Money’s uber-white veneers still bug me. I think that’s why she is always licking her teeth. Because they throw her off too.

Back to the WTA

Chris welcomes the ladies and the awkward part ensues where individual popularity is measured by length of clapping and volume. By those scientific metrics, Jaclyn is the big loser.  And I am reminded throughout the show how much I still do like Emily, Nicki and Kacie B. Placed front and center, they maintain a united front of semi-normalcy and fairly relatable observations. Also, Nicki is very pretty at the WTA. So is Jen. Every close-up of her makes me think she could star in a stage version of Disney’s The Little Mermaid. Like the Nicole Kidman of the bunch, you have to root for the girl that doesn’t even bother to get spray-tanned because she knows how ridiculous it would be.

There is the usual video montage recap time of all the crazy chicas and all their crazy antics. Also, I am not sure I would call Ben “gorgeous”.

And Jamie’s spoken-word kiss with Ben? As cringe-worthy the second time around. Make it stop!

Blakeley

I had seriously forgotten that Blakeley was scripted to be the season’s villain. You can tell the producers are still holding on to that storyline just in case it might divert attention away from Courtney for five minutes (which I believe they want to do in preparation for next week- but, as I said, more on that later). So they jam the dumb Blakeley story arc down our throats even though I probably speak for at least a few people when I say that it is the least compelling thing I wanted covered during these 85 minutes.

It is worth rewinding though to the part when Samantha was yip-yapping about Blakeley and Jaclyn was next to her all uh huh yeah preach it and bobbing her head. Jaclyn and her fugly spray tan want to be relevant so bad.

Brittney

Brittney says she left because she had no attraction towards Ben whatsoever, and her time is precious to her. I absolutely buy this because my recollection is that when Brittney got the date card, she was freaking out that she didn’t feel more excited. But Samantha, for some inexplicable reason, decides to attack Brittney and claim that Brittney in fact left because she was crying when she felt bullied by the girls one night. It’s such a ridiculous thing to interject because even if it was true, which it is not, that’s not the kind of thing you would ever call someone out for. The moment is so totally worth it though because as Samantha is making insane faces and barking out rapid-fire high-pitched baseless insults, Brittney actually calls her the “chihuahua of the house” with corresponding dog-yapping hand gesture. It’s my favorite moment of the hour + and I have a newfound love for Brittney with her totally 80s name-spelling.

bachelor ben episode nine recap: ben wears a lot of sweaters

Oh, honey.

For the first time this season, I actually left my flat to watch an episode. I really needed it too. It was one of those days with two kids under 3 where you just know a lot of wine (copious, copious amounts) will make it all okay. I headed to Jen’s with Faye and watched the episode in the lap of luxury. Takeaway. Wine. Cupcakes. A brand, new microfiber couch in case you might feel like spilling something during a heated moment of the show.

The one thing that threw me off was Jen’s husband. He was there when we walked in, and right off the bat started telling me from a strategic perspective, how the show needs to revamp its format. And although his points were lucid and viable, all I could think about was how every single husband/boyfriend/partner on earth watches this show except mine. So when I got home, tipsy, I accosted my husband who was trying to relax in bed late at night with the serenity and companionship of his iPad.

Hi honey, how did it go?

Great. Really fun. (Pause.) It’s just that… well, Eric watches the show too. And he’s a super, busy, important financial genius trader and he still watches it. Everyone’s boyfriends and husbands watch it. Even your favorite blog recaps it. It’s just so unfair.

We watch so many shows together already. And I am so busy. And I despise it.

I know. Fine. I am just saying.

Sorry, honey.

Fine. Whatever.

And then I sulked out of the room to get a glass of water and saw on the dining room table what my hubs had bought and left out for me as a gift:

Swoon.

This episode opened with Ben’s first line including “incredible journey so far.” Thank goodness, because you know those words put me at ease and give me permission to sit back, relax and fully embrace the remaining 90 minutes.

Ben is looking longingly out of a 1980s stretch limo. He is describing all his fears and emotions in his usual monotone. Then he is flying on the cartoon plane horizontally across the cartoon US. And then horizontally over to cartoon Switzerland. As Faye points out, the actual plane would actually have flown much farther North at a shorter latitudinal difference. But I feel like it’s sacrilegious at this point to critique the only animated portion of each episode.

Now we do what any gaggle of women drinking wine while watching the episode would do: we analyze the bodies of the ladies. Pear-shaped. Great legs. Crazy ugly. Sometimes.

Holy shit Interlaken. Get a load of this place! I want to immediately book a trip there but I am guessing I will be competing for flights with 10 million other Americans. Also, why is Ben wearing OJ Simpson murder gloves and a gay dance club leather coat?

Nicki time

There is a helicopter. I already feel like Nicki’s more into Ben than he is in to her. Also, the helicopter looks like it’s plunging down a mountain. And then it is parked on the edge of a cliff. But what I mean is that Nicki just seems more genuinely excited. And it’s so obvious how they plan the order of dates. The weakest one always gets the first one. But seriously, the helicopter! Are they all going to die??

The setting where they’re picnicking is ridiculous. And people are cynical that true love can be found in this forum. They then get off the helicopter for a scheduled embrace section on a flat mountain-top measuring approximately 1 foot x 1 foot. But even so, no sparks.

It’s eveningtime now, and it’s just occurring to me again that I like Nicki’s accent. It’s weird how a Southern accent can either soothe or grate. And there must be a first time for everything, because for one split second Ben looks really cute to me. It’s during the moment when he is willing his entire body and soul to pretend like he is interested in Nicki and it totally cool about answering the question of how many kids he wants. Ben’s answer, and I paraphrase, is: My sister and I both want four kids. Eeeewwwwww.

Ben then realizes the overnight date card is burning a hole in his pocket and Nicki’s ca-ca-ca-crazy bodacious cleavage isn’t getting any younger. So he drops this smooth line: I love our ‘conversations’. BUT I have something for you… The overnight date card has a gold-metal key attached from circa 1800. It made me laugh out loud.

Nicki talks about how she is confident. The entire world knows Ben isn’t keeping her around. And cut to a steamy make-out sesh in a bubble bath where even though it’s their private bathroom, they have to wear bathing suits. It’s a family show, haters. My 2 1/2 yo is actually way into it. He procrastinated before bedtime by telling my husband “But I want to watch the Bachelor!” I wonder if Mike Fleiss is proud of his role in society.

Lindzi time

Lindzi is cold and Ben wonders where her coat is. But he does not offer his. Lindzi is scared of heights so naturally they’re going rappelling from a tall mountain. It’s always funny how certain people get romantic picnic dates, and others get extreme sports. Poor Lindzi is like the shark cage diving equivalent of Chantal from Brad’s season.

Despite how boring and unremarkable the challenge was, I was very pleasantly surprised that no one made a this is difficult/relationships are difficult analogy. Plus, off-camera Ben says “I love this woman.” – which is definitely unexpected! There was so much focus on other women this season that Lindzi has, with the exception of riding in on a horse, really slipped under the radar. Also, I am totally digging Lindzi’s terrible roots because they look super on trend and cute when she sweeps her hair up into a messy pony. Yeah, I said pony.